Foolish
by Needle In My Eye
Summary: You forever walk in the darkness of oblivion. I see you kiss her and my cold, unbreakable Kuchiki heart, shatters into millions of little pieces. I'm here and I love you. Why can't you see that?


This is my second Bleach fanfic so deal with me here. Please read and let me know what you think.  
This is dedicated to Gadzooks97 for getting me into Bleach and for standing by me as I gasped, screamed and otherwise acted like a overly obsessed fangirl.  
Luv Emilijah and the girls.

* * *

As I wait, the alarm clock flashes and tells me its 2 o'clock in the morning. I anxiously wait for his return. He left for a hollow 5 hours ago. I have thought about going after him, but I know how he is. And so I wait.

I nearly fall asleep on his bed, wrapped up in the sheets that have his scent on it. It soothes me. I know he is not dead. I would have felt it. You see, him and I share a bond. Not some stupid lovey-dovey thing you read in Romance manga's (don't get me wrong, romance manga's are GOOD) but an unbreakable bond, one that will survive the ages. It's a partner thing. You would not understand.

I nearly close my eyes, when I hear talking outside. I run to the window, hearing Ichigo's laugh. I'm happy that he's alive, but when he gets inside, will he get the beating of his life. I lean out the window. I see him and…. that girl. The one that has like him for a long time. She has the body that any girl would die for. Shame about her brains, however she can be smart, even though she is oblivious to everything. Like the fact that Ishida loves her and that Ichigo is mine. MINE.

But, I know he wants her. I've seen him stare at her. And they have been friends for a long time, longer than he and I have. And she is his age. I'm like 5 times his age. He wouldn't want me. I stare longingly down at him. He doesn't even notice. I sigh and then I see him lean in. No, no he… he… he can't do this. Not to me. No. Their lips touched briefly and something inside of me died. I could hear and feel my cold, immovable, Kuchiki heart break.

I move back inside, too weak to move any further, but too strong to cry. I could hear him bound up the stairs. But, I couldn't move. I sat there on his bed, like a statue. He entered the room and walked past me. He gathered his things and left to wash in the bathroom.

Only then did I move. I went into his- my closet and packed my things. I couldn't stay here any longer. I scribbled a note and left it on his desk. Just as I was about to leave, he came into the room. He took one look and I almost died. The look of sadness in his eyes, it killed me to think I caused it. And he had been so happy this afternoon.

"You're leaving." He said. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. His voice contained a world of pain and his deep brown eyes showed sadness.

"Yes." I said. No point lying to him, was there? He nodded and turned from me. Part of me wanted him to tell me, beg me to stay. But, I know if he did, I wouldn't be able to refuse him and I would have been in a lot of pain if I did stay.

"I don't want you to go. You are my best friend and partner, Rukia please stay." He whispered. I felt my will crumble. I whispered a small ok, and walked over to the closet. I could tell that he was surprised at the fact that I actually listened to him. I ignored him and shut the closet door, preparing myself for a sleepless night. Why, Ichigo, why do something like this to me?

* * *

I heard the closet door open and a sliver of light brightened up the usually dark closet. "Are you okay?" Ichigo stuck his head in. I didn't answer, hoping he thought I was asleep. "Come on, Rukia. We both know you are not asleep." I sighed and sat up.

"What do you want, strawberry?" He scowled for a moment and then asked me the same question.

"I'm fine just tired. Now go away please, I would like to get some sleep." That was a statement that was so unlike me. He stood there shocked and I used that opportunity to push him away and close the door. He sighed and went back to bed. I knew he would ask me in the morning.

I heard Ichigo toss and turn all night. I could hardly get any sleep. But, that was what I had expected. What I had not expected was to wake up feeling groggy and sore. My heart ached and my face was pale and I had dry tear streaks running down my face. I must have cried in my sleep.

I woke up earlier than Ichigo so I could be ready and waiting for him. I waited downstairs after Yuzu had made me breakfast. I almost smiled when I heard Isshin yell good morning to Ichigo. It's good to see some things are normal.

Ichigo stomped downstairs, ate breakfast and looked at me, about to talk when the bell rang. He got up and opened the door. It was her, Orihime Inoue. The one that he wanted. I forced a smile as she walked into the kitchen, pretending to be happy to see one of my _friends _when really I wanted her gone. I froze. What had gotten into me? Why do I suddenly hate her?

_Because she has something you want, _a voice crooned. _She has Ichigo's attention and you don't. He loves her not you._

**No he loves me. **I said back. I must be going crazy. I'm talking to a voice in my head.

_No he doesn't. Not the way you want him to._

**You're right, but he loves me like a friend, a partner. And that's good enough for the moment.**

_Whatever, but one day you're gonna snap!_

"No I am not!" I screamed. Everyone looked at me. I couldn't be bothered to give them an explanation, so I picked up my backpack and left the kitchen. I walked out the door and put my shoes on. I sat on the tree branch waiting for Ichigo.

He walked out with Orihime, pausing for them both to put on their shoes and then kept walking. I stared after them. He had clearly forgotten me. I walked after them, feeling dejected and unloved.

* * *

I sit through lesson after lesson, seeing him stare at her. I burn with a jealousy that I have never felt before. Someday I hope that he would stare at me this way, selfish though this desire is.

_I told you that you are gonna snap!_

**Oh you again, LEAVE ME ALONE.**

_Yep, you're never gonna get rid of me._

**Go away. I do not want to talk to you.**

_Well, you got it tough, cos I'm sticking around. Seduce him, use your skills and seduce him. _

**No.**

_Yes_

**NO**

_YES DO IT!_

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I screamed. The whole class went deadly silent and stared at me. I collected my stuff and stalked out of the classroom. I walked all the way back to Ichigo's house. I jumped onto his window-sill and I climbed in through the window.

I packed my things. I could not stay another minute and watch as he fell deeper in love with that… Orihime. I sighed, the voice was right. I had snapped.

_Damn right! Now that you realise that, I will take my leave._

I groaned. Well, that was cliché. I wrote a note for Ichigo, leaving it on his desk.

"Ichigo, strawberry, baka, carrot-top, Kurosaki-kun, Ichi, nii-san,

So many different names belonging to the same person.

Brave, strong, loving, caring,

Words that don't even do you justice.

Even though I may leave you now, please understand it's for the best. Please know that I will always be thinking of you, even when you forget my name, voice and face.

I wish you all the happiness in the world and I pray to whatever god that may be out there that you will get what you wanted in life.

Please don't come after me. I wish to be left alone. But let me leave you with this message, one that I was told a long time ago by one of my dearest friends.

"**You may look, but you cannot see. You may hear, but you cannot listen. You may touch, but you cannot feel. You may sleep, but you cannot dream. You forever walk in the darkness of oblivion." **

This is the burden of humanity, Ichigo and unfortunately, this is one you share.

You did not see the outcome of this partnership, and neither did I but, I am glad that you are finally happy. I wish you all the best. All my love, Rukia."

Tear drops dropped on the page. So much for my Kuchiki resolve, but this was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Facing death seemed tame compared to this. Because then I knew that somewhere Ichigo was still fighting. But now, now I know he will not fight. Why would he fight? He has the girl of his dreams.

I folded the letter and sealed it in a nearby envelope. I wrote his name on the front and kissed the envelope. I placed it on his desk. My eyes automatically scanned the room for the last time, taking it all in for future reference. I had cleaned out the closet, making it appear that I was never there. He would be better without me mooning after him like a love-sick school girl.

I took a step out the window. Ichigo was already walking home with Orihime. They were holding hands and he looked happy. I was not going to cause him sadness. I was not going to cause him pain, because he had already forgotten. Once upon a time he would have rushed after me, but now was different. He had _her_.

I blew a kiss in his direction and I ran to Urahara's shop on the rooftops. He greeted me and I left my gigai ay his shop. I smiled at him and smirk knowingly back at me. Yoruichi smiled at me in her cat form and told me that I was probably doing the right thing. PROBABLY.

I waved and step into the gates that would take me back to Soul society.

* * *

Several years later, (had it really been only a few years, it seemed like eternity.) I was sent back to Karakura town. On a mission, for an indefinite period of time.

That meant I had to see him again. HIM. Ichigo Kurosaki, the boy/man that I had left years ago. Because I could not stand the heartbreak. Because I was selfish.

I arrived and the gates closed. Suddenly a group of hollows were surrounding me.

"Mmm, what have we here?" One of them said. I unsheathed Shirayuki and I held her in front of me.

"Looks like a Soul Reaper." I clutched Shirayuki harder, I was nervous. Never before had I fought so many hollows at once, by myself.

"She looks good enough to eat." I shook as they closed in.

"Well, not on my watch!" We all, comically, turned to the voice. The tall man, with his oversized Zanpaktou, his brightly orange-coloured hair stuck up at different angles. I smiled. It was my black sun. My Ichigo.

I laughed at the hollows. "Ha, you guys are toast!"

They turned back to me and then suddenly they all had slipt masks. Ichigo stood there as if he never had moved. The hollows disintegrated all around us, but we did not break eye contact. He had not changed a bit. He was still my Ichigo, and his eyes were still as deep and dark and mysterious and the scowl… the one I had dreamed about so many times was still present on his face.

"You left me." He said.

"Yes." I said. There was nothing much to say.

"Why? Why did you leave me? Do I do something? I tried to get into the soul society but every time I went to see Urahara, he told me that you told him not to let me through, unless there was some emergency." He looked away but then he looked back at me. His eyes looked blank and hollow. "Why?" he whispered.

He looked like he had tears in his eyes. I was shocked. Had I really hurt him that much? I felt bad and I felt the pain too. I had hurt him. ME. The one that loved him more then he could ever know.

"Then you left me that letter. I… I." He took a deep breath. "I couldn't sleep for weeks after I read that letter. I…" He dropped to his knees, the tears rolling down his face. "I couldn't believe that you had left me. After every thing and you…" He breathed heavily and tried to contain his tears.

I had stood there silent throughout this whole ordeal, but now. Now he was openly crying, I had to do something. I ran over to him and cradled his head. He looked up at me.

"Answer me, Rukia." This was the first time he had used my name, but even though it was said with a pain-stricken voice, it sounded beautiful coming from his lips.

"It does not matter." I said, wanting to put this behind me.

"Rukia it does. I stopped getting older for you. I waited every night by my window waiting for you to return. And now that you have, I want you to tell me everything."

I took a deep breath and told him of how I saw him and Orihime and how it made me feel betrayed and upset.

At the end of that, he smiled at me and sat up, surprising me. "All this time, you loved me." He laughed, breathlessly. "And all this time I thought you hated me, so I went to Orihime. We are no longer together. You loved me? You a… perfect angel, a goddess of beauty. I don't get you sometimes."

He laughed again and I giggled. He leant down (as he was so much taller than me, even sitting down) and kissed me.

He pulled away and said "I love you, my white moon."

I love you too my foolish black sun.

* * *

Soooo wat do u think?????? I know that towards the end they became a little OOC (well maybe the whole thing was OOC). Please dont flame me, but let me know where I can fix things up.  
Luvv ya guys  
Emilijah and the girls xoxox


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